Bekarlik Sultanliktir/Singledom is Bliss

 

Turning 30 is daunting in this day and age. The more educated you are, the more career-driven....the harder it is to meet societal expectations of having established a home and a family by the end of your 20s. Now times are changing and with the growing rate of highly educated women so too are the deemed norms. Still though...for those of us who are first-generation and second-generation children of immigrants often old country standards still apply.

I should preface the next part of this post with the fact that my parents are the antithesis of "ethnic parents" in that they have never pressured me to hurry up and get married.  Hell, if it were up to my dad (Baba) I'd live at home with them forever just hanging out :). Granted, my mom (Anne) will on occasion - read: frequently - follow up any conversation in which I mention someone male - mind you, it could be the postman - with questions about his marital status and male relations' marital statuses. When I tell her to knock it off she thankfully does and then reiterates that I'll know when I meet the right person and to never lower my standards.

 

I have 13 cousins, 9 of whom reside in Turkiye. Almost every cousin on my dad's side - those who live in Turkiye - is married. One cousin a year older than me has served as a buffer of sorts shielding me from constant questions about my dating status...that is until this past summer. The call from my mom came one Saturday morning with the news. The tone of her voice conveyed the bad news to come...that I would have to prepare myself for all future conversations with my father's family to include interrogations about my love life or lack thereof...

Summers spent in Turkey have made me well acquainted with what I affectionately refer to as "backhanded compliments." Everything from "You look like you've lost weight, are you sick?" to "You've gotten tall, you should stop drinking milk or you'll never find a husband at this rate" (mind you I've been 5'4" since 6th grade...). You learn to develop a thick enough skin to laugh off these Turkified compliments. That being said, I still have to remind myself to take a deep breath and bite my tongue at times. Hey...I'm American first and foremost. Once in a while I try to teach my friends and relations abroad about how Americans like to refrain from discussing sensitive topics like weight, salary, marital status, etc. This attempt usually results in quizzical looks in response. So it's always back to sucking it up and taking it like a champ.

More on this tomorrow...

Signing out 'til then,

B